"2015 is my year for big goals," I explained.  I wrapped my hands tightly around my cup of tea. I said it as confidently as I could say it, but truthfully, I was afraid that I might not be able to pull off such big goals.  Without consciously thinking about it, I diluted the strength of my original statement by adding, "But I can't start working on my new goals until I finish several other incomplete projects."

Confiding in Heidi was easy.  I told her that I felt torn between the things that I needed to do and the things I wanted to do.  Even though I had just met her, I was honest about my feelings.  I told her about the things that make me feel excited (teaching girls and women to see their inner beauty, starting to speak to groups, photographing more mothers and daughters... the list goes on and on!!).  I also told her about the things that make me feel afraid (getting lost along the way, not getting past this current plateau, failing to make a difference, spending so much time on my work that I loose track of time with me kids... this list goes on and on too).  

My eyes met hers. The little voice inside my head wondered, "'Are my dreams too big?" My strong voice did my best to chase away that little voice, but I was stuck somewhere in the middle.  I didn't want to make excuses, and I also didn't want to pretend that I was okay with the way that feeling small and feeling big were wrestling around in there.

Heidi smiled, her eyes shinning as she looked over her glasses, "All of that stuff on your list, the things that you have to finish before you reach for your new goals... Do all of those things really need to be completed?"

She felt the struggle that was taking place inside. She recognized it without making me feel small.  I loved it that she didn't back me into a corner. Instead she reached out and gently said, "Hey, can you let go of some of the stuff that's weighing you down?"

Although a short conversation, it was impactful. It didn't push me flailing out of my comfort zone, but it did give me permission to take a bold step forward. Do you want to know what happened? Within a week, I found movement. I got started on my new projects before the new year even arrived. No more waiting until I felt ready. No more hesitating and feeling like I can't make things happen.  

I have a team designing my new website complete with my new branding, I booked a 5 day trip for some much needed rest and relaxation (climbing in the red rock canyons!!), and I scheduled time to dig into video production, something that has been on my bucket list for far too long.  Since you are reading this, you know that I have also started writing.  All of this forward movement, and it is only the first day of 2015.

I can't wait to discover all of the ways that I can run toward my dreams in 2015. I hope you'll join me.

Heidi, I love your sparkle, and I love the way you shine.  May you always be clearly aligned.  Thank you for sharing your light.

xxoo, MMB